"It's Gonna Be Worth it All"

When I think of the act of waiting, the first thought that comes to my mind does not shout "yes! I love waiting. I hope I get to do that today." Nor is that my second or third thought. Okay, I never have that thought, except when I'm thinking about thoughts I don't have when I am waiting: case in point.

Notice how I used the phrase act of waiting, rather than just waiting, because waiting is a type of action. It's a choice. You can choose to wait in line for 30 minutes at Wal-mart or you can go to Target. (Wait...that's not waiting...). A better example might be, you can jump in line at the biggest, baddest roller coaster Disney World has to offer and wait the estimated wait time or you can not ride the ride. You either choose to wait or you don't.

I'll be the first to tell you that I hate waiting. I am an outcome orientated person, rather than a process orientated one. I want to see the start and the end and I want to get there. I want to Pass Go and collect the $200 dollars, rather than hit up Reading Railroad and Visit Jail along the way. In some scenarios, this can be accomplished. I can type into MapQuest directions and logically be told how to get from point A to point B, but on a much larger scale, life looks a little bit more like point A to point B to point C back to point A to point D. In other words, life is a process. A process that includes waiting.

Did I mention I hate waiting?

As I make that proclamation, the question that comes to my mind is "why?" Why do I hate waiting so much? While I don't know the answer in completion, I think it has something to do with the fact that waiting is often aligned with hopeful expectation. Waiting to hear back from the employer is aligned with the hope that you got the job. Waiting to pick up your friend from the airport is aligned with the excited expectation of seeing them. Waiting the three weeks of work before you go on vacation is aligned with the expectation of what a vacation entails.

Waiting comes at a cost, so we wait for things we deem worth it. Hopeful expectation is hard to hold onto as waiting ensues. Sometimes expectatons change. Sometimes hope is lost. Sometimes while we are waiting, point D goes back to point A and point B is no longer anywhere in sight. I'm not sure if I mentioned it yet, but sometimes I just plain hate waiting.

Pardon my vagueness and lack of details, but I have been waiting for something for several years and I am still in waiting. I'm not sure how long I will be in the season of waiting, but I can assure you, it's where my tent is currently pitched. It's frustrating because I feel like I should be a professional waiter (not to be confused with the people who bring you your meals at restaurants, I'd be even more terrible at that), but I'm not. I'm far from it. I throw temper tantrums when I'm so close to getting my yellow peg into my home base and from out of nowhere, the opponent says "sorry" and I'm suddenly back to start. And let me tell you, I can throw a mean temper tantrum.

If I am being completely honest with you, I wait poorly more than I wait well. Instead of remembering that waiting is an act that is bringing me to the end, I focus on the fact that a wait is a wait is a wait. The only thing that shakes me out of it is the fact that people don't wait for things that aren't worth it to them and if it's worth it to you, it's worth waiting for.

Maybe that's what makes waiting so hard. The things that we wait for are things that that we want, things that we believe are better than our present. I would argue that this fact alone is the reason why when we wait, we should wait on the One who doesn't just believe for what is better than our present, He knows it because He designed it. He knows where point A is going to lead and He know how's it eventually going to get to Z and beyond (He's a limitless God, after all). There's a verse in Psalm 77 that I love. Verse 19 says "Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters-- a pathway no one knew was there." I love that because I can only see the path that I want to see, but He sees the pathway that I need. He sees the paths that I don't even know about. And He loves me. He is not careless with my path because He knows that every step on the path that He has set before me is an opportunity for His glory to be revealed, for Him to be reflected. And since He is not a God who is able to reflect anything that is not good, His path for me must be good.

And all He asks me to do is to wait on Him.

I know I've mentioned this, but I hate waiting. However, if waiting is so hard because we wait for things that are worth it, I can not think of anything that is more worth the wait
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