Psalm 1

I've probably read Psalm 1 tens of times before, but today I really read it. I didn't read it as a means to an end- to check off that I read today, but rather I read it because I needed to read God's word. Psalm 1 says "Blessed are those who do not walk in step with the wicked, or stand in the way that sinners take, or sit in the company of mockers, but who delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on his law day and night. They are like a tree planted by a stream of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither- whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore, the wicked will not stand in the judgement nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will be destroyed."
Normally, I would probably read Psalm 1 and be thankful that I know the Lord and continue on to Psalm 2, and while that was still a predominant thought as I read, my second thought was saddness for those who don't. Psalm 1 says that those who delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on His law are like a tree planted by a stream of water which produces fruit and whose leaves do not wither, whatever they do prospers. The psalmist is writing to people who lived in a desert climate that was parched. I can't imagine what they thought when reading about a life-giving stream in such an arid place. The experience that keeps coming to my mind is how thirsty I am after playing a game of soccer and how refreshing cold water is in that moment, and how much more refreshing to them that image must have been, where water is not as easily accesible. Jesus offers us that kind of refreshment. He tells us that the water He gives does not result in thirst again, but rather a never-ending spring that wells up inside us (John 4:14).
Psalm 1 also says that those who do not know the Lord are like chaff that the wind blows away. This is an agricultural image from the Old Testament times. After wheat had been crushed and the edible parts were removed, the remaining chaff was left to be blown away. The chaff is barren and fruitless. It's an emptiness that I remember from my life before I was saved. I had great moments of laughter and happiness, but I had no hope or purpose. It's a deep inner feeling that can not be described, only felt, and felt hard. I was filled with an emptiness that was draining me...I was like an arid desert with no water, but that all changed when I drank from the water offered to me by Jesus. I was redeemed and refreshed and there's a well building up inside me thats flowing with blessedness. I want that for everyone.
I was recently reading a book and there was a question that asked, what would you say to someone who is still trapped in a barren life and has never experienced the blessedness of God? My first reaction was what are you waiting for? You have no idea what you're missing. Drink up. :)

Week 7: Hindu Extremists attacked pastor Daniel inside his church in India. Pray for pastors.

1 John 2:17

I love to read and learn from what I am reading. Many times, I find myself reading multiple books and trying to retain countless new information, only to forget about all the lovely things I learned weeks later. I take notes, I read books again, and I journal, but still I always forget something that I wanted to remember. I am especially terrible at this when the books are divided up into selections of reading for each day. The current book I am reading is such a book. I've taken notes, I've read parts again, and I've journaled, but I am only on day 4 and have forgotten days 1 through 3 already. I want to change that. I don't want to read a book, love what it says and then forget about it. I want to let it influence my life.

The chapter I read about today was centered around this verse: "This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever"- 1 John 2:17. It talked about how when you live with eternity in mind, values are changed because you realize that materialistic things don't matter as much anymore. I'd like to think that materialistic things don't matter much to me, but more often than not, they do. I loose sight of the fact that the things I crave are only worldly things and will fade away. It's a realization that I am probably going to have to keep coming back to. I don't think owning or having materialistic things is wrong. In fact, in some situations, I find it necessary. It is a problem though when our possessions are where we find our worth and when what we have gets in the way of God's will.

I think that I will be learning this for the rest of my life, especially because we live in a materialistic world, but I'm happy to have thought about it today. As I mentioned earlier, even though, I underline, journal, and reread, I forget the things that I have read. I think I learn best by doing so today I logged onto http://www.worldvision.org/, looked through their gift catalog, and donated to a child's education. I don't have much to give, but the money I did probably would have been spent on something that I didn't really need without a second thought. I could have bought a new pair of jeans or a DVD with that money, but those things wear out and fade away. There will probably be many times in my life, where I do choose the materialistic thing even though I don't really need it at the time, but today, this is my choice and I have to say knowing somewhere that a little kid is now getting to go to school completely trumps watching a DVD a couple times.


week 6: House church members risk arrest and imprisionment by Chinese officials every time they meet. Pray for God's protections

"And Grace Will Lead Me Home"

Months and months ago, while listening to the radio, I heard the song I'm Not Who I Was by Brandon Heath and surprisingly, a line from the song has stuck with me. I say surprisingly because it was not a song that I was excited about. I didn't run out and purchase it on itunes and I didn't constantly wish for it to be played again on the radio. It was just a regular song to me, bordering on a song that I might switch to another station if it did come on. I just didn't love it, but now, months and months have passed and that line continues to reside in my mind. The line is " the thing I find most amazing of amazing grace is the chance to give out, maybe that's what love is all about." I don't love the song, but I love that line.

I'm reading the book What's so amazing about Grace? by Phillip Yancey. While I haven't finished yet, it has been on my list of books to buy since chapter one. It's a book that once I finish it, I know I am going to want to turn back to page 1 and read it all over again. It's a book that takes your breath away because you are so overwhelmed by the reminder of God's grace and the beauty within it. It truly is amazing grace. While reading this book, however, I have realized how often I do not act with such grace. I like to think I'm a fairly nice girl and that I am generally kind to others, but within the pages of this book, I often identify with those who act in ungrace. I will admit that I have rationialized my actions of ungrace at times and felt totally justified after. I seem to forget at times that I myself am a sinner saved by an amazing grace. A grace that I can not put into words and that makes me cry when I take time to really consider it. A grace that loves me unconditionally and has no measure or bounds. I know that grace and the thing that's so amazing about it is the chance to give it out.

I mentioned that I haven't finished reading the book by Yancey yet, but along the way, I have taken a few notes and/or written down quotes that stuck out to me. Many of which I have heard before and just needed the reminder and others that I heard for the first time. All of which, however, have challenged me to act in grace, rather than ungrace. To share a few:

• "I know that I came face to face with God's love at my worst, not my best, and that amazing grace saved a wretch like me."


• Jesus gained the reputations as a lover of sinners, a reputation that His followers are in danger of losing today.


• Grace dies when it becomes "us" versus "them".


• We are to hate the sin, but love the sinner


• God is a God of love and not hate, of freedom and not rules, of grace and not judgement.

I have been touched by the grace of God and have stood changed as a result. I don't want to be quick to forget that. I don't want to be like the unmerciful servant whose own large debt was cancelled, but he still felt entitled to the debt owed to him (Matthew 18:21-35). I want to be a giver of the kind of grace that was so freely given to me.

Knowing my humanity, there will be moments where I will act with more ungrace than grace. And I pray that when those moments come, that I can humble myself enough to ask for forgiveness- an act of grace in itself.

Week 5: The Eritrean government imprisons Christians in metal containers, denying them food and medical care. Pray for their health.

Amazing Love

I have been learning a lot about love and grace in the past few months, specifically God's love and grace. And it seems, as I learn, I discover how little I ever knew. The more I learn about God's love and grace, the more convinced I am, that there will always be more to learn and experience. I can never understand the depth of God's love because it is not limited by dimensions, nor can I understand the magnitude of His grace. I'm just simply granted both.

If I'm being honest, the paragraph I just wrote challenges the part of me that wants to be logical. I don't deserve to be loved like that. I haven't earned it. And the craziest part is I don't have to. I am loved simply because. There is no reason for it. I can't earn it and I will never deserve it, but I will always have it. His love and grace is so overwhelming that every time I start a new sentence, I backspace every letter typed, because there are no words that can succeed in describing the reality of knowing His love and His grace.

I had the opportunity to go to Rwanda, Africa two summers ago. I went with a missions team for the college I attended for three weeks. I have so many distinct memories and mental pictures from the trip, but what I remember most is how the Rwandan people we met loved. We walked into the local high school to a classroom of students who had never seen us before us and knew nothing about us and walked out on the first day with notes, written in their best English and handwriting, that said I love you. We went to churches where they did not have enough money to finish the walls, but they gave us everything they had to eat. We went into the poorest village in the area we stayed, where families and livestock lived together in one small room, and they gave us everything they could give- a bench to sit on and a beautiful dance. Occasionally, I still receive an email from a student I met that always begins with I love you. The people loved us without knowing anything about us. We weren't there long enough to learn everyone's names and we spoke entirely different languages, but they loved us with no reservations. They loved us simply because. We weren't deserving of their love, but they freely gave it to us. It's amazing that our Father loves us the same way, but in an even bigger way.



I have been terrible at consistently writing week after week, therefore, a consistent 14 weeks of prayer has not occurred, but 14 weeks is 14 weeks no matter the days in between. :)Week 4: Colombian guerrillas shot Marcella, Lydia, and Jeffrey's parents because they shared Jesus with others. Pray for their safety.