Found in the Woods, as Opposed to Lost

Yesterday, I went for a walk on a hiking trail. The walk, which I had planned on being about twenty minutes turned into two hours due to the fact that I got lost. When it started to get dark, I pulled out my girl scout skills and started listening for cars and taking paths that led in that direction. Once I reached the road, which was unidentifiable to me, I called my sister and asked her to look for me. She found me. I have a really good sister.

When you're twenty minute walk turns into 120 minutes, you have a lot of time to think. I kept thinking about how sore my body was going to be when I woke up after walking about eight miles. I typically don't exercise. I don't enjoy exercising to exercise, but I do love to play competitive games.

Thinking about competitive games, specifically sports, led me to thinking about the words offense and defense. Offense and defense have different definitions depending on how they are used. Offense can mean "the players or team unit responsible for attacking or scoring in a game", "something that offends or displeases", or "the act of attacking". Defense can mean a bunch of different things, as well, but the overarching theme in every definiton is protection. Defense is the "resistance against attack".

I am not an offensive person. Sure I might say offensive things at times, I am human. But I am not an aggressive person. I don't like to attack. I like to protect. I'm a defender by nature. When I play soccer, I love protecting the goal. I love trying to shut down the attack of the offense. Defense wins games right? If the defense is strong, you can't be defeated. I'm also a defender in relationships. When I really love, I love hard. When I have decided that you're worth investing my time in, which I am selective in this decision, then my defensive tendancies kick in (not sure if that's a pun, but if it is, unintended). I will pretty much do anything to keep you safe and try to help fix you when you're sad or discouraged or sick.

As I thought about these words, I thought about how offense attacks. In order to attack and win, if you are the offense, you have to break the defense down. Once that's accomplished, it's gravy baby (I know that's a silly saying, but I really enjoy saying it. Bear with me). It's an awful feeling when you're the defense and you're broken down. Maybe I'm over emotional, but in a game, it felt like it was all my fault. And in relationships, I'm not sure there is a worse feeling to know that instead of defending, you turned into the offender.

Then I started thinking about how a defense is broken down. A defense breaks down when unity is lost, when there is overcommitment or undercommitment, when there's distraction, when they're tired, and when all strength is gone. As I thought about this and my life I realized how applicable this is. When I am any of those characteristics, it does not take much to break me down. The offender, the biggest offender there is, always chalks up a point when I am the defender because he knows exactly what it takes to break me down.

But, I know a bigger defender. The song "Stronger" by Hillsong should be sung right at this moment. While that was a joke, it's saturated with truth. When I take myself out of the role of being the defender and trusting that He's all the defense I need, I can't lose. That doesn't mean I shouldn't be concerned with defense, it just means that when I'm broken down, I can know that I'm never defeated. And when I lose some control over my defense, I can start working on my offense because as much as it's not my personality, offense wins games right?

These were my thoughts as I walked through the woods. I was tired and my legs hurt and my ankles were bleeding, but I was never scared. I knew I couldn't be broken down because I knew who was defending me. Maybe I should get lost in the woods more often. Or just ponder my thoughts in a coffee shop or something. To-mato, To-ma-to.