Featured Friend Friday: Mark Zoccali

Meet Mark.

I met Mark about 5 years ago and had no idea that we would become such great friends, but I am so glad that we did.

Out of all of my friends, Mark is probably one who I have the most random stories with. And with random stories come laughs, so it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, we laugh a lot.

Mark and I are both broke. I hope he doesn't mind that I just publicly told the world about his bank account status. But anyway, because we are broke, the thing we do most is get coffee. And when I say coffee, I actually mean chai with a shot of espresso for Mark. Coffee shop outings are always full of avoiding people we know but don't want to talk to (Is that mean? well, if that's mean, I don't want to be nice), listening to the latest from the contestants on the Voice or Xfactor, talking about Gandhi and the vision for peace he had that India just can't seem to reach, accidentally stealing other people's coffees and drinking them, and of course, what most people do at coffee, just plain talking about life.

Speaking of life, it has been crazy awesome watching Mark's life unfold over the years and I am so proud of all that he has accomplished and so excited to watch him continue to change lives for years to come. A few years ago, Mark found himself in an orphanage in Guatemala on a mission's trip team and honestly since then, I am not sure if he has been in Guatemala or the US more. There are few people I know that find their passion and aggressively pursue it. Many people  have dreams, but only talk about them. Mark does them. It is a treat to have a front row seat to watch what God is doing in his life and He is doing great things.

In May, Mark is graduating and planning on moving to the orphanage in Guatemala for an extended period of time. He is raising all of his financial support, so if you're interested in helping him out, let me know. To read more about his stories and what's going on in his life, you should check out his blog: http://marktomarcos.blogspot.com/.

I am so thankful for the friendship that I have with Mark and think it is such a privilege to have the opportunity to support and encourage him in the work that he is doing. Thanks for loving orphans and the world the way you do, Mark. You're a world changer and I am so lucky to call you friend.

My friends are better than yours. Over and out.

Dear Friends...It's Just Me Again.

I operate completely under the notion that God customized my world specifically for me. Maybe that's being self-centered or egocentric, but it's what I believe. As a result, when people are placed into my life, I see them as hand-wrapped gifts straight from Heaven and I don't know about you, but when I get a hand-wrapped gift straight from Heaven, I want to handle it with care.

This past May, I wrote a blog called "Dear Friends..." It was a letter to my hand-wrapped gifts straight from Heaven that I meant with my whole heart. And in a minute, I'm going to paste it into this post, as well because I still mean it with my whole heart. I am so convinced that I am the luckiest girl in the world and I think everyone should know just how lucky. So, I am going to start Featured Friend Fridays, in which I write a post bragging about a different friend each week. I'm doing this for two reasons. One, because my friends are so bragworthy and Two, because I want to give them a glimpse of themselves through my eyes because I believe there is power in speaking life into people and often times, we can see things in others that they can't see themselves. So, keep your eyes posted. I'm going to attempt to do this as often as I can, but I'm not the best at keeping up with a blog, so forgive me when I fail. Because I will.

Dear Friends

Lately, as I've been reading, it seems the things that are sticking out most to me are in regards to relationships. As previously mentioned, I'm convinced that I have the best friends and family this crazy world has to offer and when I recognize the fact that God customized my world with them in it, it knocks my argyle socks right off. In recognizing that they are gifts determined just for me from the Giver of all gifts, I cherish them all the more. However, so often I fail at telling them. This is my attempt.

When I think about moments in my life where I've felt the most loved, the saying "the people who matter most to us are those who show up in our lives" can be applied to almost every situation. Showing up can mean an array of things. By choosing to show up, however that may look, from being physically present or whispering a prayer miles away, in that moment, you're choosing someone else over yourself. You're saying, in your showing up, "hey, your worth my time." I never want to miss the opportunity to let someone know that. Dear friends, you are so worth my time.

When I think about moments in my life where I've felt the most broken, I can point to people who have been willing to show up and in their showing up, they were putting me back together. I think about the friends who knew that there was a crying me on the other end of the phone, but picked up anyway. I think about the friends who have come out to their porch after dark to give me a hug, no questions asked. I think about the friends who have just sat with me in silence instead of forcing a conversation. I think about the friends who have prayed for me and with me. I think about the friends who have been with me in awkward situations and remained themselves. Friends who tell a joke, when most wouldn't. Friends who just listen, even in my crazy, irrational rants. Friends who call me out. Friends who do not compromise in speaking truth. (Sidenote: My friends are better than yours. Hands down.) In all of those scenarios, there is a common theme. I was met with a heart that loved me and in that moment, was committed to me, "a heart full of hope for" me. Dear friends, my heart is full of hope for you.

When I think about moments in my life where the most laughter has ensued, it has been the moments where spontaneity was the most possible. Where there has been freedom to just be. When "you are free to love without an agenda". When there is expectancy without expectation.

"If you and I are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within our friendship. When we see each other or are apart, there is expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that ‘expectancy’ to an ‘expectation’ -- spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations. Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friends are supposed to do, or responsibilities of a good friend" (The Shack)

This notion that love does not force itself has been replaying over and over in my mind. Friendship that is forced is not really friendship because the beauty of friendship is that it's a choice. You can choose whether or not someone is your friend, that's what makes it so special. You're someones friend because they choose you. Dear friends, oh how, I choose you.

When I think about those whom I love the greatest and whom have loved me the greatest, I think about those who I know the most and whom I have allowed to know me the most."So many believe that it is love that grows, but it is the knowing that grows and love simply expands to contain it. Love is just the skin of knowing" It's the people who have seen me at my worst and in those moments have never ceased to love me like I was at my best. It's the people who know that even though I might say this, I mean that. It's the people who know all of silly quirks and insecurities, but love me anyway. It's the people who know me and stay. Dear friends, I love knowing you.

Dear friends, dear friends, dear friends....

How to Break a Sire Bond?

I bet you're wondering what a Sire Bond is.

If you already know, call me. We could probably be really great friends.

A Sire Bond is a very technical term used on the television show, Vampire Diaries. I know I didn't have to use the word technical given the context of where it comes from, but just in case someone didn't know how legit Vampire Diaries is, they now do. A sire bond is the link between creator and creation in which creation complies with the direct and indirect orders of the creator in order to show its loyalty. (Yes, I did google what is a sire bond?)

Now that you know, I'm not going to lie to you, I am considering Jesus Juking the notion of a Sire Bond by talking about how we are to be obedient to God, our Creator, and how our lives should point to Him.

But don't worry, I won't. I'm simply writing this post because I was dared to and when I'm dared to do harmless things, I find it hard not to. So if you're looking for any insight or reading of worth, you can stop now. You're not going to find it. This is just me being completely ridiciulous.

And to keep with the honesty theme I have going, I have no idea how to break a sire bond. I just thought that was a compelling title (For all you vampire diaries fans out there, pun completely intended).

I do, however, think that if you are actually interested in breaking a sire bond, you should contact your local three year old. They are experts are breaking the direct and indirect orders of their creators, also known as their parents. And Damon, well you can  just contact me.

Show and Tell

I feel strongly called to speak life and encouragement into the lives of those around me. I understand the power of words and how they can transform lives, but I think that words without actions are the easy way out. It's harder to show someone you love them than to say it. Showing involves pursuing.

Lately, I have been obsessed with the notion that I am called to pursue others. According to my dictionary app, one definition of the word pursue is "to attend to." I love that definition because the definition of the word attend is "to be present." So to pursue others, essentially means to be present for them.

For me, pursuing doesn't have to be this grandiose gesture. In fact, little things often stand out more in my mind than the big things. But, pursuing does require you to pour yourself out for the benefit of others. And because it's costing us something, we naturally want to get something back. And when we don't, we become defensive. We decide we're done. And we stop pursuing. We stop being present.

They never want to hang out.
Their phone always goes to voicemail.
They never ask me how I am doing.
They only ever reach out to me when they need something.
Where's my thank you?

And so on and so on and so on. We get tired of being present for people more than they are present for us. And sometimes, you should. Friendships shouldn't be one-sided. Either should dollar bills. That means they're fake. No one should be used or valued only when they are of convenience to others. But a lot of the time, we're just not operating in the grace that is so often extended to us.

I don't know about you, but I am certainly glad that Jesus doesn't stop pursuing me all of the times I fail to pursue Him. All of the times I fail to be present with Him. All of the times my effort in our relationship pales in comparison to His, which is and will forever be, always.

I think that in pursuing others, we somehow lose sight that it's not always about us.
It's not always about MY time, MY efforts, or how I'M pouring into others. Pursuing shouldn't be about me and about what I'm not getting out of it. Pursuing is always about the other person. Pursuing requires action.

So Stop. Stop giving up on people. Stop being done with people. Stop being lazy with people. Stop saying words you never intend on acting on and start acting on words that you've said. Start extending grace. Start speaking words of affirmation and life. Start being present. Start pursuing. Starting loving the way God loves us.

"Our God is not patiently standing by and waiting for us to offer love. He is actively and vigorously pursuing us...He is the father running down the trail to embrace the prodigal son even before the boy can speak his act of contrition. He is the mad farmer showering a full day's wage o men who hadn't even worked. He is Jesus forgiving the sinful woman even before she spoke her sorrow. He is the king lavishing a banquet on beggars....God is not the sort to casually murmur, "Well, sure I love you." He constantly shows how much"- Andrew Greeley.

To pursue others or to be present for is to show how much. I challenge you to operate in the simple elementary school principle: show and tell.

Road Signs

Last week, as I was praying about what to share at a retreat for my internship, an image/experience kept coming to my heart. The image: Driving behind a Semi.

When you get into your car to head somewhere, you typically know the destination. You know the roads that you need to take to get there. You know the stops you need to make along the way. You know the direction you're headed. And then, you get stuck behind a Semi. A semi that constantly is stepping on the brakes, a semi that is driving 15 miles below the speed limit, a semi that is randomly stopping and going, and you can't see around it to see as to why. A semi that is now preventing you from seeing what is up ahead.

In that moment, if you're anything like me, you start focusing on the Semi. How come it's slowing down? Enough with the brakes! Pull over, already! What the... And for the sake of a blog that is public, I'm going to stop my train of thoughts right about there. No one needs to meet the road rager in me.

But in focusing on the Semi, I'm forgetting that I am still on the same path that I was  when I started the drive. If I look back, I can still see all the turns and stops I've made to get where I am. I'm still headed to my final destination- whether the Semi is in front of me or not.

In Psalm 119, the psalmist writes "Barricade the road that goes Nowhere; grace me with you clear revelation. I choose the road to Somewhere. I post your road signs at every curve and corner. I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me. God, don't let me down. I'll run the course you lay out for me if you just show me how (29-32 MSG)."

How many times do we stop focusing on the fact that we are on the road to Somewhere when we find ourselves behind a Semi? How often do we lose sight of the dream because someone tells us we can't? Or the obstacles seem impossible to overcome? Or the doors keep shutting? Or the process is taking longer than we wanted? How many times in the midst of all of this, do we forget to look back and remember where God has shown Himself faithful. Where God has proven He is for us.

There's going to be some bumps in the road. We're bound to hit some monster pot-holes. Heck, there might even be some ridiculous detours, but if we're posting road signs at every curve and corner, when a Semi comes and we can no longer see what is ahead, we can look back on the road signs that we have posted and declare that we are still on the path to Somewhere. And that even when we can't see the end of the road, we can rest in the fact that we know where it ends.

I think sometimes we get so caught up on where we want to be and how come we aren't there yet, that we forget where we have come from and where we have already been. Jeremiah 31:21 reminds us to "set up road signs, put up guideposts. Take note of the highway, the road that you take." I love this idea of setting up road signs because to me, it brings perspective to a journey. I love knowing that even if you're stuck behind the biggest, most inconvenient semi to ever drive, you can look back and realize that the semi hasn't changed where you're heading. It might have changed the rate in which you get there, and increased your levels of frustration, but you're still heading to the same place you set out for at the beginning of the journey. Road signs enable us to stop looking at the Semi long enough to look back on all that's already been accomplished by the grace of God

"Once again, I'll go over what God has done, lay out on the table the ancient wonders; I'll ponder all the things you've accomplished and give a long, loving look at your acts. Oh, God! Your way is holy. No god is great like God. You're the God who makes things happen, You showed everyone what You can do" (Psalm 77:11-15).

Dear Self,

Stop. Stop living in fear. It changes the way you walk. You know this. You. know. this. Remember the frog? It seems silly, but it's the perfect illustration of this principle. It stopped you from moving.

[I should explain the frog comment. I am terrified of frogs. Just seeing one makes my stomach turn and one night, not too long ago, I came home late and right in front of the steps to my house, there was a frog. A big, nasty, gross frog. And it stopped me in my tracks. I'm embarrassed to tell you how long I stood outside my house strategically planning how I was going to get in. I'm also embarrassed to tell you that for weeks after, I only stepped in certain spots just in case the frog was around. I'm sure I looked crazy to my neighbors. But I digress...]

Fear does that. It paralyzes you, but it's contrary to love. Because love does. (Thank you Bob Goff). The word does implies action. It means you're doing something. You're called to be a doer of the Word (James 1:22). Stop fearing so you can move. You've got dreams. Huge, crazy world changing dreams. And even though, they are huge and crazy, they aren't impossible. You've got influence that you aren't walking in because you're stopped. Go.

You want to know the remedy to fear? Love. Perfect Love casts out fear. God is love and God is light. Remember that whole frog story? You walk differently when the outside light is on. When you can see the dark for what it really is. It's the same principle with fear. When you shine some light on in, it looks differently- the Life Light blazed out of the darkness and the darkness could not put it out.

Hold your fears up to the light, Truax.

The fears that scream at you that you won't be adequate. You'll never be enough.You aren't going to matter.You will fail.You are all alone.There's someone better than you to do it. It's too big, you can't do it.

Those thoughts will stop you. Those thoughts will paralyze you. Those thoughts will get you nowhere- they are rooted in fear. Stop and shine the light on them. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God's plans for you are for you to prosper and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future. You. It says you. It means you.You might fail, but the righteous fall seven times and rise again. And when you are weak, He is strong. He will never leave you or forsake you- You aren't alone. There's someone better than you to do it? Okay Moses, tell that to the people who won't get let go. And nothing is too big for the Lord.

Stop. Just stop. Stop focusing on your fears. Because your fears are all about you. And it's not about you. It's never been about you. Stop focusing on the fact that you can't, you won't, and you aren't and start focusing on the fact that HE IS. He is strong when you are weak. He is more than enough when you fall short. He is faithful when you are faithless. His ways are higher than your ways and His plans are greater than your plans. It's not about you. It's all about Him. He doesn't make broken lives beautiful so that we can look good- lives are made beautiful so that when people look at us, they see Him. It's not about you. The reality is that when you fall flat on your face and when you are at your lowest, He shines the brightest. When it's evident that you have no strength left and you're weary, every step you take points to Him because it is not on your strength you are rising. It's on His.

Truth be told, You aren't ever going to measure up. You're always going to fall short. But stop focusing on that. Stop fearing that, because Perfect Love has come and said that His grace is sufficient for You. And when Perfect Love comes, fear can't stay.

 You have to stop, before you go go.

Rwanda: The Rest of the Story

So now that about a month's worth of Wednesdays have come and gone without "it" being written, I've decided to write on a day other than Wednesday and in a manner not consistent with what I have been previously doing. Look at me breaking routines. Instead of giving you the rest of the Rwanda trip day by day from my journal- I'm going to summarize the last six days. You're welcome- you now will not be reading a book. You'll be reading a blog. With pictures. Winning.

8/7/12

Kids came to check out the after-school learning room today. There were so many children to play with. It was incredible and crazy fun.

We played the game headbands. There is a language barrier so explaining the games at times was difficult, but these kids are brilliant and caught on quickly. The older kids also helped us to translate.

 

I showed some of the kids some magic tricks. I figured since it was magic camp at Pearce it was appropriate. And as it turns out, magic is pretty universal. The kids loved it. Ishmael caught on fast and then wanted to learn how to do it himself. He learned it a whole lot faster than I did.

 This boy in the orange shirt completely captured my heart. We played some made up version of patty cake and giggled about absolutely nothing. I could have giggled with him all day long. And by all day long, I mean forever. I could have giggled with him forever.

Some kids at the office reacting to seeing their pictures on the camera. How stinkin cute are they?

8/8/12

"It's so easy to fall in love with this place and these people. I'm so thankful for the experience" That sentiment about sums up everyday while in Rwanda, but I wrote it on this day. We spent the day at the school program, again.

 

Just some of the faces that I got to spend the day with. Kamanzie, Protogene, and Ishmael. I think their pictures alone explain the whole "it's so easy to fall in love with this place" notion.

 

8/9/12- "So today we drove to the Noel Orphanage, in Gisenyi. It's 4 hours away from Kigali and the scenery on the way there, was breathtaking. I could have stared out the window forever. Once we got to the orphanage, hundreds of kids swarmed our van wanting to say hi and touch us. One girl, she is 14, and her name is Maria grabbed my hand and for the rest of the day was by my side. Every time I went into a room through the front door, she would be there to meet me at the back door to grab my hand again. It broke my heart to see how desperate these kids are for love, but it made me so thankful to be there to have the opportunity to love on them."

 

 

(This is Maria)

 (Maria, Jon, Benwaeh)

 

8/10/12- We spent the whole day at the Noel Orphanage. It was incredible. Incredible being a huge understatement. I loved the entire day and every child that I met easily stole my heart, but there was one baby who I met, who not only stole my heart, but still has it. Her name is Gracie. She was playing in a field and came running over to me with outstretched arms saying "Mama." I picked her up and played with her. And for over an hour, she would not let me put her down. I sang with her and hugged her and cried every time she rested her sweet little face on my shoulder and clung tighter. That Gracie girl won me.

 

 

8/11/12- We spent the morning again at Noel before heading back to Kigali. I think I'll let my journal do the talking on this day " How do you even begin to put into words the end of a trip like this? How can I write about saying goodbye to children that took my breath away? How can I possibly describe what it was like to fall head over heels in love with children and have to hug them and tell them I love them, knowing that I may never see them again? How do I write about how there was so much more I wish I could do? I can't possibly. There's a saying that God sleeps in Rwanda, but I'm fully convinced He wakes here too. I am so incredibly moved by this country. Jesus, all I can do is give You praise. All the glory. All the honor. All the praise."

 

 

8/12/11- This is the day that we boarded the plane to come back home. This is the day where I once again learned that Rwanda is my hardest goodbye. This is the day where I already starting dreaming about my next hello. Oh Rwanda, you have my attention.